Shikamaru's Mourning
by Juura99
Summary: My version of the days after Asuma's death. Normal POV. Friendship, Fluff, Shounen-ai if you want. ShikaNaru if you want it to be. SasuNaru if you want it to be.


**Wow, I actually wrote this a long time ago, when I first saw Asuma's death in the anime. I don't know why I never posted it...guess it wasn't top of my mind really...but yeah, here it is. And wow, with another jolt I see that this will be the first one-shot that is a SasuNaru! Instead it has a slight hint of NaruShika, if you take it that way.**

**Anyway, yeah, I stumbled across this again while cleaning up my files and such, and I just thought 'eh, why not. Lemme post it.' so here it is.**

**It's my version of what happened right after Shikamaru and them arrived back to Konoha after Asuma's death and such...Enjoy.**

* * *

It was raining. The sky was dark as the clouds continued to cry natural tears. There was a distinct air of despair, regret and sorrow as a small group trudged forwards.

Raidou and Aubo were in front. Following them were Izumo and Kotetsu. Lying on a makeshift stretcher between the four of them was a body, half covered by a black cloak.

Behind them, walking slowly with tears in her eyes was Ino. She couldn't look at the shrouded body. Every time she did, new tears would form and she would break out into fresh sobs.

Chouji walked close behind her. He also avoided his teary eyes from the body. Often he would glance behind him worriedly. The last person following their group was lagging behind, dragging his feet and staring at the ground. His expression was blank, his eyes devoid of emotion. Chouji had never seen him like this.

Shikamaru was completely broken.

He had cried, slightly at first, but as soon as they had left, he had withdrawn into the empty shell. Chouji didn't know what to say. He knew the pain, but it wasn't quite the same for him.

After all, he hadn't been that close to Asuma-sensei. Not as much as Shikamaru, anyway.

* * *

They arrived at the village, soaking wet, to be greeted by Shizune. She looked at them, her face grim.

Raidou had sent a message ahead of them, informing Tsunade-sama of Asuma's death. Shizune stepped to the side, allowing them to pass. When Ino came close, Shizune reached out a hand in comfort to her junior. Ino took it before burying her face into Shizune's shoulder and crying unashamedly. Chouji paused and waited, turning to look back.

Shikamaru was still quite a way off. His pace had slowed as they had gone along, until he was barely moving at all. While Shizune and Ino walked away, Chouji waited for his friend. Finally, Shikamaru walked through the gate and stopped beside him.

"Shikamaru." Chouji received no acknowledgement from the boy, and he grew even more worried. Shikamaru started walking again, leaving Chouji in his wake, staring after him sadly.

"It wasn't your fault, Shikamaru." Chouji whispered, but his words were left unheard through the rain.

* * *

Tsunade sat, her eyes closed and her hands clasped together in front of her. She took a deep breath before letting it out slowly.

She was the Hokage. She wasn't allowed to cry yet.

"Please alert all relevant parties of the funeral. I'll tell Kurenai –"she was cut off as Shikamaru spoke up.

"No. I'll tell her. I'll tell Kurenai-sensei." He said quickly. Izumo and Kotetsu glanced at him. It was the first thing he had said after they had left the exchange point.

Tsunade looked at him carefully, before nodding.

"Alright. I'll leave it to you." She said. He nodded and turned around, exiting the room.

"I'm worried about him." Tsunade said quietly. Izumo and Kotetsu nodded.

They were too.

* * *

"Ah! Shikamaru! Have you finished your mission? Where's Asuma? Is he busy with the re...port..." Kurenai faltered at the expression on the young man's face. Her heart wrenched and she felt her breath becoming shallow.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

Shikamaru looked at her, his eyes empty.

"Kurenai-sensei...I'm afraid that...Asuma...is dead." His voice was hollow, and soft, just above a breathless whisper.

Time seemed to freeze.

Kurenai stared ahead, unseeing. The words played over and over in her mind, before finally she registered.

A single tear escaped before she collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. Shikamaru stood before her, unmoving. Kurenai was so busy grieving, she didn't see how his fists clenched until his nails broke the skin and his palms bled.

* * *

Naruto sat before Kakashi, panting. He was tired out from all the harsh training and Kakashi had told him to rest for a bit. Although he had said he could keep going, his body had ignored him and collapsed to the ground for the much needed rest.

"Damn." He hissed. Kakashi sighed, but otherwise kept silent. They were interrupted when Yamato re-entered the clearing, having gone off to speak to another Nin that had arrived. His face was grave and he had a depressed aura around him.

"What's wrong, Yamato?" Kakashi asked as he came closer. Yamato sighed.

"The training needs to be put on hold. Asuma-san was killed in action, and his funeral is soon." He said sadly. Naruto's eyes widened and he gaped. Asuma-sensei was dead? Shikamaru's sensei was killed?

He pulled himself to his feet, and looked towards the village sadly.

"Shikamaru."

* * *

The funeral passed in relative silence. Aside from Konohamaru's sniffling as he grieved for his dead uncle, and the occasional sob from Ino, everyone was quite.

Sakura, Sai, Kiba, Shino, Lee and Tenten stood near the middle in silence. The entire Hyuuga clan stood on the left, with Neji and Hinata near the front. Chouji and Ino stood in the front row. Often, Sakura would place her hand on Ino's shoulder, as she was right behind. Ino would stifle her sobs and squeeze Sakura's hand in return, grateful for the reassurance. Naruto stood beside Chouji and Konohamaru, and Iruka-sensei was comforting the boy from the otherside.

Shikamaru was nowhere to be seen. Naruto had heard Chouji telling Ino that when he had gone to Shikamaru's house, he had already left. He looked back towards the village, wondering where the shadow Nin was mourning.

* * *

When the funeral was close to an end, he left silently. His blonde hair was so bright compared to the black outfit he wore. He walked down the street in silence, before finally his senses picked up a familiar scent. He looked up at the building and pin pointed the source on the roof. With slow steps, he went inside, walked up the stairs and exited onto the roof.

There, still as the dead, lay Shikamaru. His hands were behind his head, and his legs were crossed. He was staring at the sky, a blank look on his face.

Naruto made his way over carefully. When he was standing right next to the boy, he knelt down.

"Shikamaru. Why are you here?" he asked quietly. Shikamaru turned his empty eyes to him.

"Why shouldn't I be?" He asked hollowly. Naruto inwardly flinched at the voice. It wasn't the same, lazy tone. It wasn't sceptic, annoyed, or even sarcastic. It was empty. There was no emotion at all.

"You didn't show up for his funeral." Naruto said softly. Shikamaru's eyes flashed before he turned the other way. Naruto had seen pain and regret. But he'd also seen pity.

Self-pity.

"How could I go? It's my fault that there's even a funeral being held in the first place." Naruto's eyes widened at the statement. Shikamaru was facing away from him, so he didn't see the blonde's angry expression.

He didn't even register the blonde was mad until he felt the fist make contact with his jaw. Even though he was lying down, the force made him roll off to the side until he was close to falling off.

With a stunned look, he raised his head to see Naruto glaring at him.

"Don't you dare say something like that." Naruto growled. Shikamaru stared at him in surprise. His jaw was starting to ache as he pulled himself into a sitting position. Naruto's fist was still suspended.

"Why not?" he asked the blonde. Naruto lowered his fist.

"Because you can't wallow in self-pity and blame yourself when you aren't at fault!" he said. Shikamaru growled, before lunging forward. Naruto was so surprised at his movement, he didn't react in time. Shikamaru punched him in the face, knocking him to his back before quickly straddling him.

"How would you know? You weren't there! You didn't hear how Asuma spoke! You didn't hear him place so much trust in you, place such a high belief that you could take down the enemy without making sacrifices, and then watch as he was killed by the enemies he was so sure you could handle! You didn't hear his dying breaths! You weren't there to hear him say how proud he was that I was so strong!" Shikamaru slammed his fist against Naruto's jaw. The blonde took it, spitting out blood after biting his cheek, before looking back at him.

Shikamaru didn't realize he was crying. All he could see was the image of Asuma smiling at him, and telling him he had faith in him.

Dammit. Asuma had trusted him. And he had failed and Asuma had died as a result. He was a weak, pathetic person who had gotten his teacher killed.

"How would you know how it feels? To try so hard to protect something, and fail and watch as it disappears right before your eyes." Shikamaru was gasping now, his whole body shaking.

"How could you know what it's like to lose a comrade –"

"I know exactly what it's like to lose a precious person."

* * *

Shikamaru paused.

He opened his eyes, unable to remember when he had closed them, and was shocked to see the tears in Naruto's eyes. The blonde was crying, the tears streaming down his whiskered cheeks, as he gave Shikamaru a pained expression.

"I do know what it's like to have so much trust placed on you, only to fail and lose someone because of that failure." Naruto whispered sadly. He pushed himself up until he was resting on his elbows.

Vaguely, they realized it had started raining.

"How?" Shikamaru questioned. Naruto looked at him deep in the eye.

"I lost Sasuke." He said softly. Shikamaru's eyes widened.

"You were there. You heard how Sakura-chan placed her faith and her wishes on me. She trusted that I would bring Sasuke back. She believed I could convince the Sasuke we knew to return. And yet, even after everything, he left. I lost him. I failed Sakura-chan. I failed the Sasuke we knew. I failed myself." Naruto was breathing heavily as empty sobs escaped him. Shikamaru looked at him.

"But...Sasuke isn't dead, Naruto. You still have a chance _"

"Do you really believe that?"

Shikamaru froze. He stared down at Naruto in disbelief. Had the blonde really uttered those words?

* * *

"What do you mean?"

"Do you really believe that the Sasuke we all knew is still there? Because that's the Sasuke I want to bring back. That's the Sasuke Sakura-chan wants me to bring back. But from all my previous encounters, I've only seen that the Sasuke we knew died long ago." Naruto sat up, his face only a few feet away from Shikamaru. They stared at each other for a long moment, each lost in his own sorrow.

"But there's one difference." Naruto said. Shikamaru blinked.

"What's that?"

"Unlike you, I didn't allow myself to wallow in self-pity. I worked harder to become stronger, so that there would never be a repeat of what happened. I'm still working hard. And I'll keep working hard, no matter what."

Shikamaru let out his breath, and slid back off of Naruto's waist.

"But...I'm not as strong as you. I don't think I can move on so quick." He whispered. Naruto placed his hand on his shoulder.

"You are strong, Shikamaru. You're much stronger than others think. And you're a genius. Although I think that's totally unfair, it's the honest to god truth." Naruto chuckled. Shikamaru gave a small smile.

"But, for now –" He looked up. "For now, you need to mourn. You need to let out your grief, Shikamaru." His eyes widened before Naruto reached out and pulled him into a tight hug.

"And I'm here. I'm the shoulder you can cry on. Heck, if you want to punch me again, go ahead. I'm here for you." Naruto whispered. Shikamaru was still for a minute, before his hands reached up to clutch the back of Naruto's shirt. He buried his face into Naruto's shoulder and sobbed.

They sat there, in the pouring rain, holding each other. Naruto was crying too. He was grieving for the Sasuke he knew, the Sasuke he hoped he could still save someday. And Shikamaru wept for his fallen teacher.

Finally, only after the rain had let up, Shikamaru let go and Naruto did the same. They stood and walked out of the building together. When they were outside, Naruto gave Shikamaru a pat on the back and a small, genuine smile before leaving for his home. Shikamaru watched him go for a moment, before walking away.

He was still upset. He still needed to grieve. But the weight he had felt was gone and he could breathe. He thought of Naruto, and thanked the blonde from the deepest part of his heart. He would be okay. If he needed to cry, Naruto would be there for him. With that thought, he went home.

* * *

**Yeah so, what'd ya think? It's more of a friendship thing, but it can be seen as ShikaNaru or SasuNaru, depending how you look at it. **

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